பால்வழக்கு ( Genderlect)

Genderlect

• While little girls talk to be liked; little boys often talk to boast.
• Little girls make requests; little boys make demands.
• Little girls speak to create harmony; little boys prolong conflict.
• Little girls talk more indirectly; little boys talk directly.
• Little girls talk more with words; little boys use more actions.

(You may consider replacing the word little with big as you may please)

Widely accepted philosophy teaches about the uniqueness of men and women. While by nature they posses equality of worth and value, men and women are different by design and function. Gender differences are apparent physically and behaviorally.
Men and women differ in the way they think, feel, act, and talk. In fact, one of
most striking differences between the sexes is the unique ways that men and
women communicate.
In recent years, the communication styles of men and women have been studied scientifically. Linguists have documented these perceived differences. The primary purpose of these intensive investigations is not to determine which communicative style is best or to motivate others to change completely, but to identify differences for the purpose of understanding and adaptation. As men and women better recognize differences in communicative styles, they can work to improve their own communication with members of the opposite sex.
What is Genderlect?
In recent years, perhaps as women have entered the workplace in larger numbers, the obvious communicative style differences between men and women have been discussed publicly. Unique conversational styles have been observed and communicative conflicts have been encountered. As a result, linguists have begun to research gender communication.
The term genderlect has been coined to define the language of the sexes. Similar in form to the word "dialect" (the unique language of people in a specific geographical area), genderlect is "a variety of a language that is tied not to geography or to family background or to a role but to the speaker's sexual gender." The primary goal of this adjustment is effective communication with members of the opposite sex. Genderlect is heard in the context of the Christian community and genderflex is necessary for effective ministry together. These gender communication differences begin at very early ages.
The same old question - Nature or Nurture?

Language and communication are considered learned behavior which develops through a combination of nature and nurture, genetic predisposition and environmental stimulation. As a result, gender communication differences emerge in early childhood. Children learn how to talk from their parents as well as their peers, often imitating their same-sex models.
These communication differences are noted during same gender and opposite gender conversations, during one-on-one and small group interactions. Neither gender style is considered best, but obvious differences from childhood to adulthood should be understood and adapted. Parents, spouses, co-workers, and church members need to become aware of differences in gender communication.
Gender Communication Differences

Communication

between men and women can be considered cross-cultural communication. People in different cultures speak different dialects. In fact, John Gray in his book, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, suggests that men and women communicate in such different ways that they seem to be from different planets. There are numerous general differences that characterize gender communication.
Before clarifying some distinctive in gender communication, several basic assumptions must be accepted.
1. Men and women do have different conversational styles.
2. Both styles of communication are equally valid.
3. The goal in gender communication is not change the style of communication.
4. Respect and understand that the rules, perspectives & priorities.

Men and women express themselves in different ways and for different reasons. Men and women express gender communication differences in content, style, and structure.

Men

Lunch chasers historically
Excitement mongers
Report – talk
Can either talk or listen (one thing at a time)
Always fix it cap
Sharing problem – sign of weakness

Ability to see is limited especially can see only primary colours
Reducing Stress – testosterone
Think they are the most sensible sex

Unhappy at work cant focus on relationship

"When it comes to sex woman needs a reason and man needs a place"

WOMEN

Nest defenders historically

Relationship builders
Rapport – talk

Emotive
Indirect talk is female specialty
Can talk and listen at the same time ( Multi tasking)
( Listening heals)
She wants to be heard ( troubles talk)
Sharing is sign of trust
Additional X - photoreceptorsfor more detailed colour description
Reducing Stress- Oxytocin
Women know they are sensible sex
Unhappy at relationship cant concentrate her work

What it means in today's context?
We need to be aware of these differences as this has different implications in Organisational context. Mere awareness will remove the mental blocks of “you don’t understand” syndrome. Especially where gender diversity is one of the most important values this topic is very relevant. We might understand the thumb rule that we can’t change the style of the other gender but be sensitive to that and accept as it is and respect differences.

Carl Jung's Anima and Animus theory is another psychological study which will throw more light on this especially in today's environment where women are more assertive and aggressive in pursuing their professional life and men are required to learn newer skills of understanding emotions relationships etc.,

WIIFM ( What is in it for me) ?
When we understand that the rules are different we know that we need to adopt to the differences. The pace of life is taking us slowly to a relation shipless soceity. At least let us now develop an understanding on the same species next gender. The future will bring many different species we may have to handle ( Test tube babies, Biological factory products etc.,). The objective is to develop supportive communication.
Suggested readings
1) Allan and Barbara Pease -Why men don't listen and women cant read maps
2) John Gray - Men are from Mars and Women are from venus
3) Deborah Tannen -That’s not what I meant
4) Dr. Barash " Sociobiology'
5) Dr. Mark Gungor Speeches http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM
6) Animation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbKWIYMUkgE