பால்வழக்கு ( Genderlect)

Genderlect

• While little girls talk to be liked; little boys often talk to boast.
• Little girls make requests; little boys make demands.
• Little girls speak to create harmony; little boys prolong conflict.
• Little girls talk more indirectly; little boys talk directly.
• Little girls talk more with words; little boys use more actions.

(You may consider replacing the word little with big as you may please)

Widely accepted philosophy teaches about the uniqueness of men and women. While by nature they posses equality of worth and value, men and women are different by design and function. Gender differences are apparent physically and behaviorally.
Men and women differ in the way they think, feel, act, and talk. In fact, one of
most striking differences between the sexes is the unique ways that men and
women communicate.
In recent years, the communication styles of men and women have been studied scientifically. Linguists have documented these perceived differences. The primary purpose of these intensive investigations is not to determine which communicative style is best or to motivate others to change completely, but to identify differences for the purpose of understanding and adaptation. As men and women better recognize differences in communicative styles, they can work to improve their own communication with members of the opposite sex.
What is Genderlect?
In recent years, perhaps as women have entered the workplace in larger numbers, the obvious communicative style differences between men and women have been discussed publicly. Unique conversational styles have been observed and communicative conflicts have been encountered. As a result, linguists have begun to research gender communication.
The term genderlect has been coined to define the language of the sexes. Similar in form to the word "dialect" (the unique language of people in a specific geographical area), genderlect is "a variety of a language that is tied not to geography or to family background or to a role but to the speaker's sexual gender." The primary goal of this adjustment is effective communication with members of the opposite sex. Genderlect is heard in the context of the Christian community and genderflex is necessary for effective ministry together. These gender communication differences begin at very early ages.
The same old question - Nature or Nurture?

Language and communication are considered learned behavior which develops through a combination of nature and nurture, genetic predisposition and environmental stimulation. As a result, gender communication differences emerge in early childhood. Children learn how to talk from their parents as well as their peers, often imitating their same-sex models.
These communication differences are noted during same gender and opposite gender conversations, during one-on-one and small group interactions. Neither gender style is considered best, but obvious differences from childhood to adulthood should be understood and adapted. Parents, spouses, co-workers, and church members need to become aware of differences in gender communication.
Gender Communication Differences

Communication

between men and women can be considered cross-cultural communication. People in different cultures speak different dialects. In fact, John Gray in his book, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, suggests that men and women communicate in such different ways that they seem to be from different planets. There are numerous general differences that characterize gender communication.
Before clarifying some distinctive in gender communication, several basic assumptions must be accepted.
1. Men and women do have different conversational styles.
2. Both styles of communication are equally valid.
3. The goal in gender communication is not change the style of communication.
4. Respect and understand that the rules, perspectives & priorities.

Men and women express themselves in different ways and for different reasons. Men and women express gender communication differences in content, style, and structure.

Men

Lunch chasers historically
Excitement mongers
Report – talk
Can either talk or listen (one thing at a time)
Always fix it cap
Sharing problem – sign of weakness

Ability to see is limited especially can see only primary colours
Reducing Stress – testosterone
Think they are the most sensible sex

Unhappy at work cant focus on relationship

"When it comes to sex woman needs a reason and man needs a place"

WOMEN

Nest defenders historically

Relationship builders
Rapport – talk

Emotive
Indirect talk is female specialty
Can talk and listen at the same time ( Multi tasking)
( Listening heals)
She wants to be heard ( troubles talk)
Sharing is sign of trust
Additional X - photoreceptorsfor more detailed colour description
Reducing Stress- Oxytocin
Women know they are sensible sex
Unhappy at relationship cant concentrate her work

What it means in today's context?
We need to be aware of these differences as this has different implications in Organisational context. Mere awareness will remove the mental blocks of “you don’t understand” syndrome. Especially where gender diversity is one of the most important values this topic is very relevant. We might understand the thumb rule that we can’t change the style of the other gender but be sensitive to that and accept as it is and respect differences.

Carl Jung's Anima and Animus theory is another psychological study which will throw more light on this especially in today's environment where women are more assertive and aggressive in pursuing their professional life and men are required to learn newer skills of understanding emotions relationships etc.,

WIIFM ( What is in it for me) ?
When we understand that the rules are different we know that we need to adopt to the differences. The pace of life is taking us slowly to a relation shipless soceity. At least let us now develop an understanding on the same species next gender. The future will bring many different species we may have to handle ( Test tube babies, Biological factory products etc.,). The objective is to develop supportive communication.
Suggested readings
1) Allan and Barbara Pease -Why men don't listen and women cant read maps
2) John Gray - Men are from Mars and Women are from venus
3) Deborah Tannen -That’s not what I meant
4) Dr. Barash " Sociobiology'
5) Dr. Mark Gungor Speeches http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMZ73mT5zM
6) Animation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbKWIYMUkgE

கோலிக்குண்டும் கல்விக்கூடமும்

Perspectives on Street as an institution of socialisation process

‘Of course I joined school; but never had I allowed it to interfere with my education’
- Mark Twain's Notebook, 1898

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards.
- Following the Equator, Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar
Education is a social process. Education is growth. Education is, not a preparation for life; education is life itself. - John Dewey

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

-Albert Einstein

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”

- Neil Gaiman
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Greatest thinkers who changed the world's perception on education have cmmented about school as above.

Why are they annoyed with school?

What was their discontentment with the school?

Are they against a formal education?

Have they faced failure in this institution.?

What are those assumptions that prompted these great men to comment the way they did. Is there some thing in the human life influencing more for their success than that of a formal school? Is it family, is it religion or any other institution? Did sociologists cover this crucial institution in its fullest sense?

The acclaimed agencies of socialization are family, the school, mass media, religion and Peer group. These agencies play a vital role in developing ones personality by its enduring and accepted norms to either control or leverage human imagination.

One of the generalist view is that a candidate in a selection interview gets selected 98% due to her attitude and 2% due to her knowledge and skills. The paradox is all the above social agencies develop knowledge and skills 98% of the time and spend 2% of the time for developing the vital aspect i.e., attitude. May be little different is the peer group which slightly different in the informality of status. Can we attribute every aspect of learning from other than family and school to the sociology half heartedly accepted institution called peers? Is there any other important aspect the sociology forgot to capture in terms of time and depth of learning? There is a wide spread acceptance that there are life skills which are problem solving, creativity, anger management, influencing skills, Team spirit, Drive , Dependability, accountability, Interpersonal skills, flexibility, adaptability, Fore sightedness, strategy to win, perseverance, risk taking, independent thinking, willingness to stretch, common sense, endurance, self motivation, smile and so on and on. Which of these skills are taught in a formal environment especially in schools. If all these are going to be critical for some one which is the agency or institution instills these qualities in her. While looking at the over all quality time spent by a child on the socialization process during the formative years the street comes to the mind in a big way.

What is street?

Role of street in developing one’s personality is more than that of any other institution. Group dynamics, concept of winning and losing, Leadership qualities like taking initiative, ownership, lateral thinking abilities, strategies for winning and more importantly the pursuit to goal in spite of losing with the same spirit. The formal institutions impart exactly the opposite like individualism against group, fear for failure, growth is always upward progression, etc.,

The spread of street doesn’t end with the actual physical space it is even inside a class room when teacher teaches the lesson students play with chits passing (the last bench activities), the street is also inside house when there is a co operation or fight with siblings. Thus if we calculate the number of street hours are much more than all other formal institutional hours. Hence we can conclude 98% of the most important element the ATTITUDE gets picked up from streets.

What is in it for the future generation?

The present gen “z” does not have the physical street and they are confined to four walls within the vertical streets in concrete jungles. They are spending all their time either as couch potatoes or on the play stations.

Weightage of evaluating the kids is day by day increasing while the age of children joining school is decreasing day by day, It was primary school, nursery school, kindergarten, Preprimary and play school. The formative years of these kids are dependant more on the formal institutions today. Are the formal institutions have sufficient know how what impact they are going to make on the children’s future?

Present education system

A student is studying 10 years of history without a comprehensive understanding of the chronological history neither does she acquire the analytical history and what is very important to note is this is the case with all other subjects also. The expectation on the student is to just acquire the knowledge on ad-hoc basis and forget everything once the examination is over. At the end of generic curriculum neither the time spent was useful to neither the student nor the society. This is evident in government schools where more than 85% of today’s youth are studying. For e.g., a student studies English as language for a time minimum of one hour a day and 24 hours in a month which will equal 2400 hours in 10 years, and yet she can not speak in English. This speaks of failure of this 150 years old model of education system.

What are the learning out comes which will help individuals grow for a better life? Knowledge change? Skill Change? Attitude Change? Analysis capability? Capability to synthesize? Or capacity to evaluate? ( Benjamin Bloom model of Learning outcomes)

How family and schools fail to influence a student ?

These formal institutions though influence the child it is teacher centered learning and not learner centered learning. Out of the both the family to a certain extent is better when compared to the school. The school miserably fails in the attempt to unleash the potentials of the child rather it confines the knowledge and learning to the prescribed syllabus. This is evident from the number of suicides attempted at every Board exam by children.

What are the skills and knowledge acquired by the student in the school that is helpful?

From where does the student pick up the most vital element of competence for social standing.

Example of street's influence on the learning is mother tongue. The preliminary words are picked up from parents during the very young age. But by and large it is the informal street that teaches the mother tongue better. Observe children who are growing in any other geographical province thought the children will speak the mother tongue their scholastic over the language predominantly spoken in the geographical locality at times better than parents themselves on this language. If a dialect can decide the person's learning of language think of the influences that will be caused in the mind of a student. The NLP ( Neuro Linguistic Program) program speaks about success by using appropriate language (using the term situation in place of problems will bring in more close to the resolution to the issue).

How does a game influence individual's attitude that drives behaviors.

There is a game called BOCCE which is the basisfor the Bowling game, used for corporate training programs( Pegasus institute for Out bound Learning uses this game for teaching the corporate strategy and observe individual alignment with the team's alignment. What is funny is this game is almost similar to that of the marble game played by kids on the streets. Cricket has replaced children's most of the playtime today the periodical games like marble games, flying the kite, playing the Tops, Playing police and thief and many more such games are long forgotten and faded away.

In fact these games were just a part of the whole street life. The theme changes according to the age and knowledge level of the friends ( I am not using the word peers because it reduces the depth of meaning in the given context of street). They roam together go to rivers, wells and catch up with the kabaddi matches with the neighbourhood street all brings in lot of learning which teaches the competence we spoke about in the first few paragraphs.

பார்வைகள் பலவிதம்

தெருவில் இறங்கி நடக்கிறேன்
பெருங்கூட்டத்தின் சிறு புள்ளி நான்
ஆனாலும் ஒளிக்கீற்றுகள் போல்
என்னை தாக்கி மறைகின்றன
பார்வைகள்...


துணிக்கடையைத் தாண்டினேன்
என் சட்டையின் அழகினை
அளந்தது ஒன்று ...

செருப்புக்கடையை நெருங்கினேன்
என் கால்களின் நீளத்தை
நெருடியது ஒன்று...

சலூன் கடையைக் கடந்தேன்
என் தலைமுடியின்
நீளத்தை அளந்தது ஒன்று...

எல்லாம் என் அடுத்த வரவை
எதிர்பார்த்த ஏக்கப் பார்வைகள்...

தொடர்ந்து நடந்தேன்
சுடுகாட்டை நடந்து கடந்தேன்

என்னுடலைத் துளைத்தது ஒரு பார்வை
வெட்டியான் என்னை வெறித்தான்...

ஒரு முற்றுபுள்ளியின் லட்சியம்

ஒரு முற்றுபுள்ளியின் லட்சியம்...


இந்த உலகம் என்னை வெறித்து பார்க்கிறது
நான் பிறந்தது மரிப்பதற்கா வாழ்வதற்கா


இறப்பதற்கு முன் ஒரு முறையாவது வாழ்ந்துவிடவேண்டும்...!


என் குறிக்கோள் ஒரு முடிவின் ஆரம்பம்
முடிவை அறிவிக்க வீழ்பவன் நான்
ஆனால்

சிறு முடிவை அறிவிக்கும் புள்ளியாய்
நான் சாய்வேனோ...


ஒரு சரித்திரத்தின் சரித்திரத்தை அறிவித்து
வீழ்ந்தால் நான் வாழ்ந்தது வாழ்க்கை
இல்லை என்றால்

வாழும்போதே நான் செத்த பிணம்...

எதிர்கால வேகம் - எதிர் கொள்ளுவது எப்படி ?

Alvin Toffler in his book Future Shock described " if we divide the human experience of latest 50 thousand years and divide the same into 800 lifetimes, human being spent 650 lifetimes in caves"
This is fantastic expression which captures the speed in which human as a species heading to.

Every invention based on the accumulated knowledge of man kind gets fine tuned, but the pace in which it takes to the next level is phenomenal. E.g., Human as a speicies took millions of years to invent Telephone thorugh Graham Bell. But it took just a hundred years to tranform the way we use the instrument. About 10 years back cell phone was a rarity. But today can we imagine a life without cellphones.
A similar metamorphosis is happening in every walk of human life. We have to quickly learn to adapt to this pace.
We all live in a world which moves as though in urgency. What are the issues concerning social, economical, political lives of us. We as fellow human being are commonly encountering these problems.
Please share with me your thoughts
Why Human being inspite of all these developments is increasingly unhappy?
What makes them happy ? is it wealth or just a sense of happiness in what we do?
How can the future generations be groomed to face reality of relationship less society from relationship led society?
Can we imagine a society without mother or father or brother or sister or wife or children?
Are we heading towards such an anormie?
Where does this evolution take us?
Where we will be in antother 1000 years from now?
Scientist, Philosophers, Professors, Professionals, Students, Housewives aren't the above questions relevant to you ?
So why would you wait to join the conversation?
Let us discuss

ara...

http://hubpages.com/hub/History-of-Humankind-Timelines--where-are-You